ENGAGEMENTS AND WEDDINGS

Sweethearts and wives! Fill up the glass
with crystal clink and clatter
And drink the liquid jewels down —:
May the former become the latter.
When raging winds and waves unite
to form a mighty chorus,
We know that loving hearts at home
are nightly praying for us.

NANCY LEE, you and Bill are two of those fortunate young people who bad a prewar wedding; so we have decided to leave the chapter unchanged . . . even to the honeymoon at the Royal Hawaiian Hotel in Honolulu! War never seems to stop weddings; in fact, it appears to promote or encourage them.

In Manila during the battle of Cavite in the thickest of the firing a prominent wedding was in progress, and the ceremony continued despite falling bombs and flying shrapnel. Nothing, can stop Dan Cupid, once boy meets girl and a wedding is in the offing!

It was a custom in the old Navy previous to prohibition days, when ships were at sea, to drink a toast at dinner on Saturday night to sweethearts and wives. This toast dates back to Lord Nelson's day, and the second stanza continues:

Sweethearts and wives, those precious names
That make our hearts grow warmer
Through every storm on sea or shore —
May the latter remain the former.
When lighting flash and billows roll
And straining hawsers sever,
Our thoughts upon the reeling deck
Are with them both forever.

Engagements made at the Naval Academy are necessarily of long duration because of the present Navy regulations with regard to marriage. Naval Academy graduates must defer marriage for two years after graduation. On first thought this may seem unfair, but in time of peace there are two very good reasons for it. The first is professional; the second, economic. Upon graduation from the Naval Academy, an Ensign is assigned to two years of duty at sea with the Fleet. After all, the government educated Bill to be a naval officer. Financially, his small pay is sufficient for his own needs as most of his time is spent at sea; but no amount of stretching the budget can male it adequate for two. The answer for every Ensign is to forget about marriage until he has served his apprenticeship of two years.

A good idea of the general situation can be gained from the yarn told in Commander Hockey's fascinating book, The Navy's Best Stories.

A young Ensign one time asked the Admiral for the hand of his daughter in matrimony. The Admiral asked him, in no uncertain terms, how in the hell he ever expected to support a wife on an Ensign's pay. The young officer thought awhile and then said, "Well, Admiral, you married when you were an Ensign." Quickly, and in tones most terrifying, the Admiral replied, "I lived on my father-in-law, but I'll be damned if you do so."

The O.A.O. who is willing to wait is the girl worth having. Waiting is a real test of character and love, and it is far better to find out if one or the other is fickle before marriage than afterwards. Of course this does not mean that either the Ensign or his bride-to-be should make foolish promises and refrain from enjoying the society of others. The Navy Department may be hand in hand with Cupid in delaying marriage for its officers. Deferred marriage has much in its favor, although at times it may seem cruel.

It is still customary in the best circles, and particularly in the Service, for an officer to call on the girl's father or mother or whoever is head of the family and ask for the girl's hand in marriage. Generally speaking, it is no surprise to the girl's family, if the young Naval officer has been particularly attentive over a period of two years. (In time of emergency or war, the two-year regulation is subject to change by the Navy Department. Aviation Reserve Ensigns must wait two years after being commissioned.)

If the parents of the girl approve the engagement, the young officer should acquaint his parents with his intentions if he has not already done so. He breaks the news of his happiness to his parents by a personal visit, a letter, or a wire, choosing the method best suited to his purse, and considering the distance involved. One enthusiastic young Ensign wrote ecstatically to his mother and father: "Dear Parents: Hang on to your hats! I'm going to be married." Then be told them all about Sally and her family. He was even thoughtful enough to send along a good picture of his "dream girl." The letter glowed with happiness, and his mother and father each wrote to Sally a cordial letter welcoming her into the family. They also wrote graciously to Sally's mother and father, since it was impossible for them to call personally. The family of the young man must always welcome the bride-to-be. It is customary for them either to call upon or to write to the future daughter-in-law.

If the young officer is an orphan, his nearest relative should welcome his fiancée into the family. A definite understanding should be reached before a formal engagement is announced.

THE ENGAGEMENT RING

The Annapolis graduate usually gives a miniature of his class ring for an engagement ring. Generally it contains a diamond, although any precious stone is perfectly proper. In the early days of the Academy the engagement ring was not worn in public until the engagement was announced. Today the miniature ring is worn all during the years of a "secret" engagement.

If the young officer is especially affluent, he may choose to give a solitaire as an engagement ring, in which case the miniature may be worn as a little-finger ring.

There is no set rule about engagement rings, but all Army and Navy wives are proud to wear a miniature of their husbands' class ring. Often it stands them in good stead as an unofficial passport, especially if their full name is engraved inside!

THE ANNOUNCEMENT

The announcement is always made by the parents of the bride-elect. Several days before the announcement of the engagement is released to the press, the bride's mother either telephones the various daily papers or sends a written, signed notice to the society editors. The latter method is the approved one, as many papers require a signed statement in order to avoid future trouble in the way of law suits that may be brought by jilted brides or discarded grooms. If the families concerned are prominent, the society editor will usually ask the bride to have her photograph made by the paper's photographer. Often the bride-elect may have a favorite photograph on hand, and it is quite correct for her to offer this one to the paper. Of course she will never think of proffering the photograph unless one is requested.

A signed copy of the engagement notice should be sent to the Service periodicals, The Register, 511 Eleventh Street, N.W., Washington, D.C., and The Army and Navy Journal, 1701 Connecticut Avenue, N.W., Washington, D.C.

The following is the proper form:

Mr. Howard Calhoun Patterson and Mrs. Patterson (or Mr. and Mrs. Howard Calhoun Patterson) announce the engagement of their daughter, Nancy Lee, to William Satterlee Tyler, Ensign, United States Navy, son of Mr. and Mrs. James Lewis Tyler of Baltimore, Maryland.

Miss Patterson attended Holton Arms in Washington and was a member of the 1941 graduating class from Wellesley.

Ensign Tyler is a graduate of the United States Naval Academy, class of 1939. The wedding will take place in the late fall.

Local papers may carry a much longer announcement; occasionally, however, a brief three-line announcement may seem quite sufficient. The engagement of a widow or divorcée is always announced as quietly as possible. She either tells her friends or writes a brief note to them; but the announcement of the marriage itself should appear in the papers and Service journals.

Should an engagement be broken, regardless of the circumstances it is always broken by the girl—at least as far as the public is concerned! In these uncertain times it is often best not to announce the exact time of the wedding, especially if the event is planned for a distant date. The Navy Department takes no account of the best-laid personal plans, and sometimes complete arrangements have to be changed because of a change of orders.

YOUR TROUSSEAU!

If there is time between the announcement of your engagement and the day you go to the altar, Nancy Lee, there will be parties given by your friends. These usually take the form of luncheons and showers. Regardless of how insistent your friends may be, by all means limit the showers to two and no more. It is truly an imposition to have more, because the same intimate friends are invited to each shower, and the quality of friendship has to be pretty good to survive the strain. Then a wedding present as a climax really runs into money, and often into unkind words as well.

An appropriate shower for a Navy bride would be a linen shower or a personal shower, should the hostess consult you. By all means, tactfully veto a miscellaneous shower, crystal shower, or a kitchen shower. Whether you realize it or not, my darling, you are entering a life of eternal gypsying. There will be times when you will need to set up for real housekeeping, but the dime store will be the solution to your problems because you will either sell or give the utensils away when orders come. Now is the time to become accustomed to traveling light. Learn to keep yourself mobile. Don't start out by burdening yourself and your handsome Ensign with valuable though useless gimcracks. A set of Spode china is a glory to look at, a delight to eat from—and an invention of Satan to pack.

Showers usually take the form of a tea, after which the gifts are presented in some novel fashion. In smart circles showers are not as popular today as formerly; however, it is a matter of personal taste.

Personal Trousseau You can have as elaborate a wedding as you choose. After all, this day of all days comes only once in your life, and all brides "naturally should be pampered." However, regardless of your income, limit your personal trousseau to the present necessities!

The happiest solution of the matter is to consult a Bridal Secretary or the Bridal Service of one of the large stores in your nearest city. These consultants have a list of trousseau needs, and nothing pleases them more than to work out a knotty problem such as the needs of a Navy bride who plans to lead the life of a glorified gypsy. Explain your position honestly, tell exactly what part of your budget you wish to allot to the wedding, then the amount for your trousseau and all that goes with it. This service is free, believe it or not; but if you are skeptical and still wish to plan your own trousseau, here are a few suggestions:

The safest rule to follow is perhaps to have a nucleus of substantial clothes, using what you have on hand in the way of the more expensive items such as a fur coat and good tailored tweeds. Today a bride usually limits her trousseau to clothes for a single season. If her income is very restricted, she may have just a few frocks besides her bridal gown and a few sets of lingerie and linens.

An Adequate Trousseau

1 classic suit, or a 3-piece suit with various types of blouses and sweaters
2 evening dresses (with boleros or jackets—suitable for dinner)
1 dinner skirt with 2 evening blouses and an evening sweater blouse
2 active-sports dresses
1 restaurant dress, short and suitable for a P.M. dress, cocktail party, or informal dinner
1 good daytime dress for luncheons I dressing gown
I negligee (the prettiest, most glamorous one you can afford) I hostess gown or hostess pajamas
2 bed jackets 4 nightgowns 3 jersey slips 4 jersey panties 4 brassieres
6 pairs of stockings, various weights 2 pairs of day shoes
I pair of evening shoes
I pair of walking shoes or golf shoes 2 bathing suits
]leach clothes, shorts, slacks, sandals, etc. I raincoat, umbrella
3 play suits (washable, attractive ones to wear around the house while cooking)

If you have a rich father with a generous disposition, by all means include a fur coat. If you're really smart, you'll take also a fur-lined coat and bank the remainder of the check. From the first, establish a clothes budget and be adamant about spending it for anything except clothes. A good appearance is most important. Remember also that not many people will see your clothes a second time, because you will always be on the move.

If buying evening clothes, choose noncrushable materials such as lace, jersey, or crepe chiffons. Often after driving all day, say from Long Beach to San Francisco, you will arrive in time to dress for dinner. In addition to the fact that hotel valet service is expensive, it will save time if your dinner dress needs no pressing.

Many Navy wives include a miniature ironing board and iron in their luggage, and no traveling outfit is complete without its box of soap flakes and an adjustable clothesline. You will soon learn to be an expert laundress in a 4 x 6 bathroom, along with your other accomplishments.

It is far more fun to buy a dress when the occasion demands than to buy everything at once, so bank your trousseau check and forget you have it until a real wardrobe need presents itself. Don't worry, it will upon your next move! Somehow, the clothes you have on hand never seem to be quite the answer, and you will enjoy freshening up your wardrobe. Then, too, there will come the day when you get lonesome, blue, and homesick. Buying a frivolous new hat does wonders for the feminine morale on such an occasion. Try it and see for yourself!

HOUSEHOLD LINEN

Here again your trousseau linens will differ from those of your Army sister or your little cousin who married her hometown beau and settled down in a pretty vine covered cottage where she expects to spend the rest of her life. At any rate, the happy way in the Navy is to travel light; yet you would not be a real bride were you not to have some household linens to bring to your new home.

Your little trousse, French for bundle, of which the word trousseau is the diminutive, must be extremely light. Here is a minimum list which may seem extremely sketchy to your mother and grandmother as they mentally take stock or recall their own well-filled linen closets when they were brides. However, I assure you the list offered will be adequate for the needs of the average young itinerant Navy couple.

Buy the best linens you can afford because good linens last indefinitely. You'll be disillusioned with a bargain sheet the first time it is laundered. Its starchy beauty that so attracted you in the store washes away with the sizing after its first trip to the laundry. When it returns from its third or fourth trip, you'll want to use it for mosquito netting.

The minimum list should include:
6 sheets, linen or good grade of percale, 72" x 108"
8 sheets, if equipping twin beds
8 bath towels, large absorbent ones, 22" x 44"
6 small turkish towels, easy to launder, 16" x 27"
6 small linen towels, guest size
8 pillowcases
2 bedspreads
2 Kenwood blankets
6 washcloths
2 chenille bath mats
3 attractive bridge sets, with napkins for informal luncheons and suppers
1 beautiful (the most elaborate you can afford) luncheon set#&151;
12 place doilies, napkins, and runner
6 dish towels
4 dishcloths
2 luncheon sets for everyday use

Be sure to provide yourself with a "packing trunk," one of rugged old-fashioned variety in which to carry linen and silver. Later you will acquire camphor chests and lockers as you need them.

LUGGAGE

One of the MUSTS in your trousseau is attractive, durable preferably of the airplane variety. Some of your moves may be by airways, and even if you are landbound, luggage is the lightest and most sturdy being built today.

A good strong wardrobe trunk of a standard make is the first necessity. A combination shoe and hat trunk, the large size for hats, is a good buy. These usually come with a tray to be used for lingerie or accessories. A wardrobe suitcase and an overnight bag or train-box for make-up completes the ensemble.

NAVAL WEDDINGS

Naval weddings differ but slightly from the usual formal wedding, except that they are probably more elaborate. In fact, a naval wedding, with the officers in full-dress uniform with their dazzling epaulets and glittering gold lace, their gay cocked hats and shining swords, presents a striking background for the beautiful bridesmaids and the exquisite bride in her traditional white gown. For once the groom almost outshines the bride. It is the nearest approach to the glamorous court life of bygone days that remains today.

However, under present conditions, a formal naval wedding is a bit hard to plan, unless an officer is on shore duty, and even then, be may suddenly be ordered to sea. During war periods naval weddings are often quite impromptu affairs. It is remarkable how lovely some of these informal weddings really are. Certainly they have that quality so dear to a Navy wife: adaptability. Large, formal weddings often have to be postponed indefinitely owing to ships' movements, sudden orders, or cancellation of leave; and the complications may be so great and involve so many people that the bride will finally arrive at the altar a haggard wreck of her former self.

Since it is almost impossible at present to set a definite date, many brides consider it wiser to send out announcements rather than invitations. Of course an invitation is a nicer compliment than an announcement, and the words are self-explanatory, but that's the Navy. Invitations should be sent out three weeks in advance of the wedding—but, oh! what a chance the Navy bride of today is taking! Very likely about three days before the wedding her parents will have to put an announcement in the social columns to the effect that the wedding has been indefinitely postponed. Those in Navy circles will understand, but your other friends may not.

At any rate it is nerve-racking to wonder if the groom and the ushers will be able to be on hand for the wedding, and a worry that the bride should not have during the happiest days of her life. So perhaps it is best to bow to the inevitable and settle upon announcements rather than the more formal and correct invitations.

The bride and her mother should consult a good stationer and place the order with him. Printed invitations or announcements are in very poor taste. Be firm about having them engraved, and avoid any fads in styles of engraving, quality, and shape of stationery.

The wedding invitation should read:

Mr. and Mrs. Howard Calhoun Patterson
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Nancy Lee
to
William Satterlee Tyler
Ensign, United States Navy
on Saturday evening, the tenth of June
at eight o'clock
St. Michael's Cathedral
Charleston, South Carolina

The invitation to the breakfast or reception is enclosed in the wedding invitation and reads as follows:

Reception
Immediately following Ceremony
South Battery
R.S.V.P.

The announcement of a wedding should read:

Mr. and Mrs. Howard Calhoun Patterson
have the honor of announcing
the marriage of their daughter
Nancy Lee
to
William Satterlee Tyler
Ensign, United States Navy
Saturday, the tenth of June
One thousand nine hundred and forty-two
Charleston, South Carolina

In Army and Navy circles the invitation should read:

Lieutenant General and Mrs. Adair McGinley
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Phyllis Anne
to
Ralph Searles
Lieutenant Commander, United States Navy
on Wednesday evening, the fourth of May
at five o'clock
Post, Chapel, Hickam Field
Honolulu

Reception
Immediately following Ceremony
Hickam Field Officers' Club
R.S.V.P.

Or an announcement:

Rear Admiral and Mrs. Dawson Hale
have the honor of announcing
the marriage of their daughter
Margaret Jean
to
Mason Davenport Haynes
Lieutenant, United States Army
Saturday, the tenth of June
One thousand nine hundred and forty-two
Coronado, California

On formal invitations, announcements, or calling cards the full name and title should appear. Abbreviations are not correct.

CALLING CARDS

In the rush of wedding plans you may forget about calling cards so a good time to order them is when you decide upon your invitations or announcements. You will need them in returning calls as soon as leave is over and you are settled down to life in the Navy. Officers always have their own personal cards. Ask Bill to send you one of his so that when you order yours the engraving will match. Your personal visiting cards should read simply: Mrs. William Satterlee Tyler. Avoid using abbreviations or initials, such as Mrs. William S. Tyler or Mrs. W. Satterlee Tyler. Neither form is in the best taste. The entire name, regardless of its length, should appear.

Joint calling cards are growing in popularity, although formerly they were used only when sending gifts or in sending flowers for funerals. While officers of junior rank in the Navy are always introduced as Mister, up to the grade of Commander, nevertheless it is quite correct to use the following form on your joint calling cards: Ensign and Mrs. William Satterlee Tyler, or Lieutenant and Mrs. William Satterlee Tyler.

THE FORMAL NAVAL WEDDING

Assuming that it is a time of peace, or that your fiancé is on shore duty and it is possible for you to have an elaborate church wedding, let us follow a formal wedding through its various stages. This is given in detail only as a guide. A smaller or less formal wedding may be fashioned after it quite easily.

We will assume that the bride-elect is from a very wealthy, socially prominent, civilian family. The setting is a historic old cathedral, at which the bride's family has always worshiped. Perhaps a Bishop will officiate, or some other high assisted by several clergymen. A vested choir with a renowned soloist will furnish the music, and the entire church will be elaborately decorated by a florist. The chancel will be a bower of flowers, and the pews for the families and distinguished guests will be designated by ribbons or sprays of flowers tied to pew ends.

This seems a good place to stress the importance of a rehearsal. By all means, have a rehearsal "if only to get an estimate of the situation. "One thing about naval and military weddings is the officers are usually more at ease than the feminine members of the wedding party; a wedding pageant is to them just another dress parade. The bride always directs the rehearsal but rarely takes part in it, as it is considered bad luck. Someone else is her proxy. The organist, who takes a very important part, should most certainly be present. After many repetitions, the entire party should master the art of walking to the wedding march. The head usher will set the tempo for the organist and the ushers will march in with military precision, but bridesmaids and especially the bride and her father must not give the impression of scurrying up the aisle or of lingering on "Leaden or wobbly feet." The bridesmaids should understand the advantage of walking on a single line, placing the heel at each step on an imaginary mark running down the aisle. Once mastered, this will insure an easy flowing movement instead of the "walking on eggs" gait that so often mars a beautiful wedding.

All the officers will be in full-dress uniform, epaulets, cocked bat, and sword. If it is a summer wedding, they will wear white full dress. A recent order from the Navy Department announces the discontinuance of swords, but for those who have them or can borrow them "the arch of steel" continues.

The wedding day dawns! The marquee is up at the church, the ruby-red carpet is covered with the white aisle strip to protect the bride's train, and the old cathedral where the bride was christened twenty years before has become a thing of indescribable beauty. An experienced florist has transformed it into a perfect Eden, and everything awaits the bride and her wedding party.

After collecting their bouquets at the bride's home, the bridesmaids proceed to the church. There they assist the bride in any way possible, and await their entrance cue in a room off the vestibule.

The ushers arrive a half-hour before the ceremony begins. The officers, having deposited their capes in a room off the vestibule, don white gloves and assume their posts at the different aisles. One officer should take charge as head usher in order that he may be free to escort distinguished and elderly guests, as well as to co-ordinate the duties of the ushers.

An usher asks everyone whom he does not know whether he is a guest of the bride or of the groom (reminding one, somehow, of the old game of London Bridge). The bride's family and friends occupy the pews on the left side, and the groom's family and friends are seated at the right. Flag Officers, Commanding Officers, and Executive Officers, such as should be given seats of honor, should always be seated according to their rank. Other officers may be seated according to the friendship with the families. When an usher escorts a lady down the aisle be offers her his arm. If a gentleman has come with her he walks behind them. When a gentleman is alone, the usher walks beside him.

The parents of the bride always sit in the first pew to the left facing the chancel. The parents of the groom always sit in the first pew on the right. The immediate families occupy the pews behind these. The honor guests and especially invited friends, who should have pew numbers, sit within the ribbons of the first twenty pews. If the groom's Commanding Officer and his wife are present, they should be seated as honor guests immediately behind the groom's parents.

It is a nice gesture to send cards denoting seating the day before the wedding to closest friends or most distinguished guests ("Second Pew, Left," etc.). These are presented to the groomsmen.

When all the guests have been seated, the bead usher escorts the bride's mother to her seat. She is the last lady to be seated. Then the doors are closed and no one is seated during the ceremony. The ushers march in pairs, carrying their hats fore and aft at an angle, and station themselves beside the first pew in the nave. The pairs divide, the ushers on the right turn right, and those on the left turn left. The bridesmaids do likewise. Where the bridesmaids and ushers stand during the ceremony depends upon the size and arrangement of the church. In a large church, it makes a pretty picture if the bridesmaids and ushers alternate and stand on the steps leading up into the chancel; or it is equally effective if they proceed to the chancel and await the bride.

After the ushers come the bridesmaids in pairs, followed by the maid or matron of honor. She stands on the left at the top of the steps opposite the best man. If there are flower girls, they precede the ring-bearer and separate at the chancel steps, standing in front of the groomsmen and bridesmaids.

The bride drives to the church with her father. They wait with the bridesmaids until it is time for them to join the procession.

The bride enters on her father's right arm, so that poor Dad doesn't have to stumble over a mess of train and veil to get to his seat. Authorities disagree on this point, and for the bride to enter on her father's left arm is equally correct, but at the rehearsal try out both entrances. Father will agree with the first plan, whether you do or not. But after all, it is up to you! It is your wedding. The proper wedding marches are: Processional, Wedding March from Lohengrin, by Wagner; Recessional, Mendelssohn's Wedding March. Handel and César Franck have written some appropriate wedding music, so consult your organist in case you are dubious about "Oh, Promise Me."

On the first note of the Wedding March, the clergyman, followed by the groom and the best. man, steps from the vestry into the chancel. The groom removes his right glove, holds it in his left hand, and stands at the head of the steps to await his bride. If there are several steps to the chancel, the groom goes down the steps to meet her, which seems more gallant. The guests like to see him smile as he watches his bride come up the aisle. Some bridegrooms look glum and scared.

When the bride and her father reach the steps of the chancel, the bride is met by the groom. She does not take his arm. When her father has given her away, he steps back into the left front pew and joins her mother.

At this point the bride and groom, maid of honor and best man, move forward to the altar. The bride hands her bouquet to the maid of honor, and the best man passes the wedding ring to the groom, who in turn bands it to the clergyman. During the ceremony the clergyman returns the ring to the groom, who places it on the bride's finger at the words "With this ring." In a double ring ceremony, the maid of honor hands the groom's ring to the bride, who places it on his finger as soon as she has received her ring.

The ceremony over, the handsome groom kisses his lovely bride, the clergyman says a few congratulatory words wishing them happiness, and the triumphant organ music begins. The bride and groom turn, the bride receiving her bouquet from the maid of honor, who also adjusts her train. Then the happy couple leave the chancel, but at the head of the steps they pause for a moment.

The ancient and traditional ceremony of the bride and groom walking under the arched swords of the officer ushers is always expected. At some weddings you will see this ceremony performed in the church, but never in a Roman Catholic church. Would you like to know the reason for this? The practice of drawing swords at the altar or in the chancel of the church is entirely wrong. Because of the old law of right of sanctuary and refuge as well as the very nature of a church, it is considered a breach of military etiquette to draw a sword in church. The "arch" should be made outside the church if possible, but if inclement weather or street traffic should prevent this, then the crossing of swords may take place in the vestibule near the door. Civilian ushers line up with naval ushers. The senior usher should give the order "Draw swords." (Leland, P. Lovette, Naval Customs, Traditions and Usage. United States Naval Institute, Annapolis, 1934.)

Only the bride and groom may pass under the traditional arch of steel; it is not proper for any other members of the wedding party to have this honor.

The bride should appear sweet and serious but not in the least self-conscious. While she does not, obviously, walk with downcast eyes, she meets none of the many eyes focused upon her except, for a fleeting moment, those of her mother.

After the bride and groom have passed under the arch of swords, the best man escorts the maid of honor. The ushers return to escort the bridesmaids or they walk out in pairs. Unless they prefer to walk out with their husbands, it is a nice custom and adds a military touch if two ushers return to escort the bride's mother and the groom's mother to the door of the church before the ribbons are released. Even if there are no ribbons, the guests wait for the families to leave. There is ample time for this courtesy. The ushers form in two lines facing each other at the entrance of the church and stand at attention until the guests have filed out. At a recent wedding, the bride and groom retired to a room off the vestibule until the guests had left the church. Then the wedding arch of swords was formed, and they walked under the arch to their waiting automobile. The bride told me that those five minutes with Jack alone immediately after the wedding were a time she would always treasure.

Everyone loves to see the bride enter her new life under an arch of swords. Service weddings are always romantic, all brides are beautiful, but this year's Navy brides are more than beautiful—they are brave!

The bride's father, if he is not in the Service, wears a morning coat or a cutaway and dark-gray striped trousers. Very light-gray buckskin gloves are usually worn.

The bride's mother, although she has all the responsibility of the wedding, often does not appear to take an active part. She is the last person to enter before the procession, and she should be becomingly and beautifully gowned. The groom usually sends the bride's mother and also his own mother a corsage. Perhaps a pale gray-blue or lavender chiffon or lace dress, or a velvet dress of any becoming color, with a small matching hat may be worn.

A SERVICE WEDDING

Should the bride be an Army junior and the groom a Naval officer, Service traditions may highlight the occasion.

THE INFORMAL WEDDING

With officers' dress blues or the full-dress uniform stored away in moth balls for the "duration" and the impossibility of getting leave, informal weddings will probably be the vogue for the immediate future. Naturally, every bride wants to be married at her home church or in her own house, but to those young women who have pledged their troth to a naval officer this wish is next to impossible of fulfillment. Parents and grandparents shake their heads and wonder what the world is coming to when a bridegroom cannot come to claim his bride and the girl goes off to some foreign port to be married. If the family is wealthy, perhaps her parents accompany her to where HIS ship is in port, but more often the young bride goes off alone. And these girls have courage! To go from comfortable homes, where they have accustomed to certain luxuries, pretty clothes, servants, to a boardinghouse room or a tiny apartment where they must learn to cook, sew, wash, iron; to be away from their families, then on a few hours' notice to pack up and move— well, it requires more than puppy love. Whatever you wish to call this type of stamina, these young brides have it.

THE WEDDING AT A STRANGE CHURCH IN A STRANGE PORT

Before you arrive, if possible, your fiancé should make all arrangements for the wedding unless you are to visit friends and the wedding is to take place several days after your arrival. In this case, you may help with the plans or make your own arrangements. Every woman loves a wedding, and your hostess will like to help with the arrangements and take part in them. If she is a seasoned matron she relives her own wedding. If she happens to be a young bride herself she enjoys the responsibility and gets a thrill out of appearing matronly.

Sometimes it may happen that a young officer has not had an opportunity to make any close friends among the officers' wives. Then the simple thing is for him to go to the church of your mutual choice and lay his problem before the minister.

Clergymen in coastal towns have these calls every day. "It's happening all over the country, this tender spectacle of love, even Cupid's in the Navy now!"

Your fiancé may, in your absence, make all the arrangements and plans with the help of his Navy friends and a sympathetic minister. There may be music, a soloist, floral decorations, and a small reception afterwards, but remember, all of these expenses should be borne by the bride's family.

If time permits, letters as to plans should be exchanged, and along with her trousseau the bride should be given a check by her family sufficient to cover the expenses of the wedding. It is assumed that the young officer will have some idea of the financial status of the bride's family, and if appropriate, the decorations and entertainment should be kept simple. The groom will arrange to have several of his classmates or shipmates act as ushers, and his best friend among his brother officers will serve as best man.

If a Navy Chaplain performs the ceremony it is not customary to offer him a fee, but if the ceremony is performed by a regular minister, ten dollars is the usual offering. This amount is placed in an envelope which the best man gives to the clergyman in the vestry immediately after the service.

THE HOME WEDDING

For sentimental reasons the bride may wish to be married at home or in the home of a relative or close friend. Should she be fortunate enough to live near a naval base, it may be possible for her to plan a home wedding that will be most attractive and at the same time economical.

This type of wedding, no matter how simple, is always lovely. At dusk, and lighted by pale candlelight, the house can be particularly lovely. Spring flowers used in profusion or autumn leaves artistically arranged as a background may tale the place of an expensive florist's creation. An old-fashioned garden also makes a perfect setting for a beautiful wedding. The note to strive for is intimacy and informality—always missing in a church ceremony.

A home wedding may be as simple or as elaborate as you choose; but try to keep it from freezing into a stiff pattern. Home should stand for gracious and affectionate living. The dining room table pushed into a corner and the kitchen range draped with bridesmaids' wraps are poor aids to an overly formal service. Don't try to turn a duplex apartment into a Paris cathedral!

MARRIAGE AT A RECTORY OR MAGISTRATE'S OFFICE

In a magistrate's office or a rectory the groom may wear uniform, though civilian clothes might be less conspicuous and preferable. An elaborate wedding dress does not seem appropriate. A small breakfast, luncheon, or dinner is in perfect taste following the ceremony.

WHAT THE BRIDE WEARS

The traditional white wedding gown dates back to Anne Brittany, who said "no" to the customary scarlet costume of her day and started a trend in white wedding gowns. Today, the bride in a formal wedding wears white, but there is a tendency in modern fashion for brides to choose delicate shades, such as shell-pink and ice-blue. This is a matter of personal taste. The bride may, and indeed often does, wear just about what she pleases.

She may choose to look like the lily maid of Astolat and, in a gown white, glowing chiffon, drift down the aisle on her father's arm, or she may prefer to look like a nun, with her face veil arranged fold after fold like that of a saintly bride of the church. Many girls like the idea of being in their mother's or grandmother's bridal finery, with the bridesmaids in corresponding old-fashioned dresses. The veil may be long and flowing or short and fluffy. A lace mantilla arranged with a Spanish comb or natural flowers is always lovely. Never has a bride had a freer reign, which is as it should be, for after all it is her day of days!

Satin is the conventional material for bridal dresses, but again the bride is free to choose her own style. For the informal wedding she may wear taffeta, velvet, jersey, lace, crepe, chiffon, mousseline de soie, organza, dotted swiss, or any summer material. The conservative bride, marrying a naval officer, with an eye to the future should choose a material and a style of dress that with slight alteration can be converted into an extra evening dress.

Of course, if the bride wishes for sentimental reasons to keep her dress inviolate, she may make it as elaborate as she wishes. Wedding dresses are often handed down in families, and it is a nice old custom to perpetuate.

THE BRIDESMAIDS

The bride decides on the number of bridesmaids, their costumes, and flowers. Everything should be planned to blend in with the general theme of the wedding. The material of the bridesmaids' costumes should complement in color or be of material similar to that of the bride's dress.

It is customary if the bride has a sister to choose her for the maid or matron of honor. If there are several sisters all of them may be included in varying capacities, even as junior bridesmaids.

If the bride has no sisters she usually chooses her most intimate friend. It is a nice gesture to invite the groom's favorite sister to be a bridesmaid. A bride may have one attendant, or if she is a festive person she may have eight or twelve. She seldom has more than six, however, as more than that borders on the theatrical and begins to make it look like a triumphal march. The maid or matron of honor is dressed a little differently from the bridesmaids, though the entire cortège is always a harmonious whole.

"Bridesmaids have practically nothing to say about the dresses they are asked to buy and wear, but inwardly they hope that the bride will be conservative as to style and cost. They want a bridesmaid's dress that they can do this to and that to, and one that when they appear in it a second time will not mark them as a member of so-and-so's sextet. (Helen Ewing, "The Bride Wore," Mademoiselle, September, 1941.)

It is customary for the bride to give each bridesmaid a small gift or remembrance, although this is not at all obligatory. Depending upon the bride's circumstances, she may give some little trinket; but it is nice to give something lasting, no matter how small. Charm bracelets are popular gifts, compacts are always acceptable, and one recent bride gave each of her bridesmaids a miniature silver pin in the shape of a spoon that was a replica of her own pattern of silver.

The groom usually gives to his best man and ushers some small gift, such as studs, links, or a cigarette case, if he can afford it.

FLOWERS

Although a bride may select the flowers and make arrangements with the florist, the groom pays for:
Flowers sent to the bride
Corsage sent to the bride's mother
Corsage sent to his mother

The bride's family pays for:
All flower decorations for church and home
Flowers for bridesmaids
Flowers for flower girls
Flowers for maid of honor or matron of honor
Fee for the organist
Fee for the soloist

RECEPTIONS

When the guest list is large, and the bride wishes to ask more friends to the reception than can be accommodated at her home, the party is usually given at a club or hotel. Home receptions have a more definite charm, however, if they can be managed.

Properly speaking, the only persons in the receiving line are the bride and groom and the wedding attendants, but often at a large reception at a club the line is formed with the mother and father of the bride first, then the bride and groom standing between the two families, and the attendants following the groom's parents.

A simpler arrangement for the home reception is for the bride and groom to receive alone. The party may be as elaborate or as plain as one desires, but it is customary to have a wedding cake. The bride cuts the first slice with her husband's sword, his hand on hers. The cake is then cut and distributed to the guests by an attendant. It is also customary to drink a toast to the bride.

If there is to be a seated wedding dinner, then the caterer or the club steward will be glad to submit menus and make suggestions. The center table should be the bride's table, at one end she and the groom are seated. The wedding cake is the centerpiece, and all the guests receive little white boxes of wedding cake which they may take home to dream on.

At last, after the dinner, the dramatic moment arrives when the bride whispers to the maid of honor to assemble all the bridesmaids in the ball. They all gather at the foot of the steps and, like any white-gowned and veiled bride out of Godey's Lady's Book, she tosses her bouquet to them with these words, "Hail, there, pretty maidens, standing all a-row, the one who catches this, the next bouquet shall throw." The bride hurries upstairs, accompanied by her mother and her bridesmaids, to change into her going-away costume. Her whole trousseau is packed in two pieces of airplane luggage—in her mother's day it would have taken four large trunks to hold her wardrobe, which was planned to see her through two years at least. The modern bride buys her trousseau for a season, and the clever Navy bride buys it only for her first station.

Then comes the quick getaway with the rice and old shoes thrown after the departing couple!

WEDDING PRESENTS

If wedding invitations have been sent out (three weeks before the wedding date), gifts will begin to arrive soon thereafter. If announcements are sent, the gifts will arrive probably before you return from your wedding trip. In either case, provide yourself with a gift book, which can be bought at any good stationer's. As you open each gift, fill in the date the present is received, the article, where it was bought, the name and address of the donor, and the date the gift was acknowledged. Make it a rule to acknowledge each gift as soon as it is received. If several arrive at once, play a little Santa Claus game with yourself by opening one at a time and acknowledging it with a written note of thanks before opening another. Your note of thanks will be more enthusiastic if you write immediately to the person who was kind enough to remember you. A bride must write a note of thanks to every person who sends a gift. The omission of this is the one thing that the sender may forgive but never forget, and your youth will not excuse you.

To telephone is not enough although in your enthusiasm you may express your first thanks in this manner; the WRITTEN NOTE MUST FOLLOW, no matter how simple it is. But use a little thought on the wording. There is nothing more disappointing or deflating than to receive a line or so of thanks for a sizable silver salad bowl on which you spent your all:

Dear Commander and Mrs. Brown: Thank you so much for the dear little silver bowl you were so sweet to send us. Sincerely,

Perhaps the persons who sent it sacrificed something they very much, in order to give you a present they hoped would add to your happiness.

Try to write a gracious and appreciative note to each one who has remembered you, and particularly avoid using the word "little". Of course, a typewritten note or letter should never be sent, and worst of all is the engraved card of thanks. Do not let any beguiling salesman entice you into buying a printed card which will be a permanent admission on your part of not knowing the social graces; you are the one who has the gift, not the engraver. Do your own composing, even though you are no poet.

Displaying the Gifts

Wedding gifts are sometimes displayed at the wedding reception, and sometimes a bride shows them to intimate friends she invites in to tea. There are definitely two schools of thought on the subject: One considers it a vulgar display to show one's popularity; the other thinks it quite proper. Let your conscience be your guide. The card of the sender is left on the gift, though in former days it was carefully removed.

Checks (the most welcome gift a Service bride can receive) are never displayed, though it is quite all right to refer to the convertible coupe that you and Bill plan to buy with his grandfather's check, or to the check that Aunt Mamie sent you for an electric toaster.

White-covered tables should be arranged, and special tact should be used in displaying the presents. Don't place a gorgeous silver epergne from rich Aunt Harriet next to the chromium cheese dish from your favorite Aunt Ellen, who hasn't much of this world's goods. Silver should be placed on one table and china on another (though heaven forbid that the Navy bride receive very much of this lovely commodity).

General Information on Gifts

Before the present emergency the average junior naval officer spent the first seven years of his service at sea—and he probably will again! Your lovely wedding presents will be stored, either in your mother's attic or in commercial storage. The latter will cost you money. At any rate, you won't be settled and keeping house if you follow the Fleet. After seven years at sea, your young Lieutenant is due for two years shore duty. If he is ambitious and has worked hard, be may be sent to a postgraduate school for one to three years. There you will have your first opportunity to unpack and really get acquainted with your wedding presents.

Flat silver, which is really a necessity, will be the most useful present you can receive, next to a check. Insist upon sterling even if you can only manage four of the necessary pieces. You can continue adding to it until you have a dozen of everything. Happy the young bride whose far-seeing mother or grandmother selected a pretty pattern of silver and has been adding to it through the years. It is never too early for a girl to begin collecting her silver.

Your flat silver will go along with you on each move, either in your wardrobe trunk or in your packing trunks. A nontarnish silver chest is a nice thing to have, but the usual flannel containers are easier to pack. Here is a list of what you should get with the checks you receive, or if relatives ask you frankly what you need in silver. Flat silver in sterling:
4 luncheon-size knives and forks
4 bouillon spoons
4 butter spreaders
4 salad forks
12 teaspoons
3 large table or serving spoons
1 steak or carving set

Later you can build your service up to twelve, also filling in with cream-soup spoons, iced-tea spoons, ice-cream forks, ;after-dinner coffee spoons, and the large-size dinner knives and forks.

In a good, heavy plate you can use:
1 silver meat platter
1 silver vegetable dish with 3 compartments
1 silver bread tray
1 or more silver sandwich trays

Of course, if some fairy godmother presents you with a sterling silver tea service, and you receive in addition a beautiful silver tray and a large portion of Tiffany's stock, don't throw it away; but if you are a wise child you will put it in storage and not try to carry it around with you. The excess weight and the burglar and fire insurance that you will pay won't be worth it.

With the list given—plus an electric toaster, a silex coffee maker, and a grill, all of which should be small enough to fit into spare corners of your packing trunk—you should be able to set up housekeeping in the average furnished apartment. If the dishes, glassware, and cooking utensils aren't furnished, then you must patronize the dime store, and either sell or give away what you have bought when you move. After a few moves you will have your packing down to a system—the blankets and household linen will protect the silver, and when dispatch orders come in to "proceed at once," the silver and linen will practically leap into their accustomed places in your packing trunk. It is all very simple, when you learn how to plan and pack.

HOW TO MARK LINEN AND SILVER

Formerly, only the bride's monogram or initials were used, but today it is deemed proper to use the bride's future initials. Don't go in for fads if you expect to enjoy your silver in the days to come. The very best plan is to choose a conservative pattern with a simple marking. Very plain silver, which was so popular a few years ago, scratches easily; so choose something that you really like that isn't too expensive when you are ready to add to it. Simple block letters are considered smart, or a single Old English initial.

THE WEDDING TRIP

If you are lucky enough to have one, this is the event of your life. There will never be another trip to compare with it; so forget everything, and be happy. If Bill has to go back to duty immediately after the wedding, don't feel sorry for yourself but plan on a deferred honeymoon! Whatever fate has in store for you, be a good sport, and try to adjust yourself to present conditions. Above all, don't forget —
"You're in the Navy now."

This is a secret, but Bill has orders to report to a ship at Pearl Harbor, in Honolulu. This is almost too good to be true, because it means government transportation for himself and Nancy Lee, with a glorious honeymoon in romantic Hawaii. After all, the Navy has its compensations too.*

* Alas, no Hawaiian honeymoons for Navy brides for a while! After the war—well, who can say? From: The Navy Wife
By Anne Briscoe Pye and Nancy Shea
1942