A Trouble Shower
The invitations were cards, with one corner turned down and fastened with a needle or pin, and the quotation, written in gilt, "Needles and pins! When a maid marries her trouble begins!"

The hostess furnished a very pretty work-basket, and the guests supplied the contents, all in the bride's favorite color-pumpkin-yellow. There were threads and sewing silks, pincushion, needle book, emery, scissors, ribbon threaders, tape needles, and darning utensils enough to last for many a moon. All of these gifts, done up in yellow paper, were hidden in various parts of the parlors, and Miss Bride had to ferret them out.

A Ten Cent Shower
The thirty guests to this novel party were invited by phone, and enjoined to send their gifts in advance, doing them up in quaint or funny fashion; no gift to exceed ten cents. When "Shower Day" came, it took two large clothes-baskets to hold every conceivable sort of bundle. To each guest was given a bag holding a hundred beans, representing as many dollars. The hostess, as auctioneer, bid off the articles for the guests to bestow upon the bride, and shouts of laughter greeted her as she undid the various packages.

C. B. WOOLLEY.

A Spider Shower
A large spider-web made of stout twine was woven in the arch between two rooms, and in its folds were "flies" made of various packages; a big brown spider in the center being a brown bundle with a small one attached to it. The larger bundle had shoe string legs, and shoe buttons supplied the eyes on the smaller bundle. The bride to be had to unwind the web, opening each "fly" as she untied it, and on coming to the spider, she found it to be a large kitchen apron, with a measuring cup for the head. The web held many helpful articles for the new kitchen.

C. B. WOOLLEY.

May Basket Surprise Shower
This is the pretty and original way in which several girls gave a shower to a May bride.

An ordinary ten cent market basket was given two coats of white paint. When it was dry, the basket was lined with white crépe paper the edge of which was crinkled, and a white bow was pinned on each end. Bride's roses and similax, bought at the florist's, were fastened to the handle with white ribbon. Then, heaped with parcels tied with white ribbon, it was left at the front door of the bride elect on May day night. As one girl rang the bell, the rest of the crowd were admitted at a side door, and stood facing the bride as she returned from the front door. There was a jolly time while the parcels were opened.

A peach basket could also be used. It should be painted white, and around the top a strip of pink tarlatan wound in and out, In the cracks are stuffed pink and white apple blossoms, and these are tied to the handle, which is a piece of barrel hoop fastened to basket. The parcels should be wrapped in white paper and tied with pink ribbon.

MARIAN C. BILLINGS.

Antique Shower
The antique shower for those who can afford it is something that any prospective bride will appreciate, and what is more, it appeals to the hostess as being something decidedly new. And in these days of the done to everlasting death showers and pre nuptial entertainments, the latter recommendation is one not to be treated lightly. Any sort of diversion that the hostess desires may be planned as an accompaniment to the shower, which may be an afternoon or an evening affair. For gifts to the bride there are candlesticks, old lamps and hall lanterns of antique pattern, old timey china such as bewitching tea pots, bowls, cups and saucers, plates, pitchers and the dear knows what not; also pewter relics. If the relatives of the bride to be possess any family heirlooms, which in a moment of generosity they have decided to give the new housekeeper (mayhap they rightfully belong to her, anyway, and are to pass into her keeping at her marriage), now is the time for the said relatives to step forward and make their contributions of old silver, pewter, china or brass, not forgetting the quilts or rag rugs, for which there is such a rage at present. Who knows what treasures of andirons and brass hearth sets as well as various other things may suddenly come to light.

Use old fashioned garden flowers and prim potted plants for decorations. If there are aids, a pretty favor for them as well as for the honor guest would be old fashioned bouquets of garden flowers done up in the quaint paper holders that were the mode in the day of our great grandmothers. If cards should be the pastime of the afternoon or evening, for prizes or favors have candlesticks of imitation old iron, and have the tally cards ornamented with Colonial sketches. For refreshments serve iced water melon in log cabin style, a chicken salad in "love apple" (tomato) cups, with mayonnaise, brown bread sandwiches, olives, nuts, ice cream, coffee and mints. To prepare the watermelon in log cabin style, cut it in strips five inches in length, one inch broad and one inch in thickness. Pile up on the plates in log cabin or "corncob" style, having four or five strips to each side. Place a small piece of ice in the center, to insure the cold crispness that is necessary, and serve with forks. This is a delicious and cooling appetizer.

CATHARINE M. PATTERSON.

Christmas Tree Shower
For the bride who announces her engagement in December a Christmas tree shower might be given Christmas week. Send out cards of invitation in the shape of small Christmas trees, or else paste or paint little evergreen trees on white cards. Ask the guests to bring something small enough to be hung on a little Christmas tree. The bride should be asked to come a little later than the others, so that they may have time to hang their gifts on the tree.

The tree may be as elaborate as you wish to make it. Where trees are hard to procure, a cunning little one on a table is quite large enough. It can be decked with gold and silver hearts and candy kisses, and on its branches should hang the shower gifts, prettily wrapped and tied.

When the bride arrives, she must strip the tree. Among its treasures may be English walnut shells, gilded and tied together, with a fortune verse inside. The hostess provides one of these for each guest.

The refreshments may consist of sandwiches cut in the shape of Christmas trees and filled with green pepper and cream cheese; caraway cookies cut in the shape of Christmas trees; and hot chocolate, with a sprig of evergreen tied with a tiny bow of red to each cup handle. EMILY ROSE BURT.

SOCIAL QUERIES AND ANSWERS

How the wife Should Speak of Her Husband
Does a wife who speaks of her husband as "Mr. —" address him in the same way when others are present? CLARA.

No; she calls him by his Christian name, but should not use a pet name when others are likely to hear her. It is an American custom, I believe, to speak of one's husband as "Mr. —" and is somewhat ridiculed by other nations, who claim that we do not refer to our daughter as "Miss —" or our son as "Mr. —. " An English wife uses her husband's Christian name in speaking of him, I am told; but the French seem better to have solved the difficulty: husbands and wives there refer to each other as "my wife" and "my husband. "

Informal Dress Among Girls and Boys
Should a boy walk with a girl when he is not wearing a coat? And should a girl ever appear before a young man in her kimono ? M. Y. W.

To both questions my answer is no, unless under very exceptional circumstances.

The Knife and Fork at Table
When the knife is not in use where should it rest, on the table or plate, and should the tines of the fork be pointing up or down when carrying food to the mouth ? F. H. R.

The knife should rest upon the table until it is used, after which, being somewhat soiled, it should lie across the plate at the left, the point of the blade just below the bevel of the plate's edge. The tines of a fork are turned downward when the fork is held in the left hand and upward when used by the right.

Visiting the Mother of One's Fiancé
I am engaged to be married to a young man in a distant State. Our engagement has not been announced except to our nearest friends. His mother has invited me to visit them. Should I accept? PERPLEXED.

Certainly. It is the kind and proper courtesy for her to show you, and you should not decline the invitation unless for very cogent reasons.

Attending a Church Wedding Uninvited
When invitations are issued in the city for a church wedding would it be proper for one who has no invitation to attend? J. H. W.

Yes, people often do so, but the unbidden guests should take seats at the back of the church or should enter quietly a little late and take places that chance to be vacant near the door.

The Tone of a Man's Talk With Women
Please give me a few points about talking with women. Some think me too familiar, others like one to be a bit easy. FREDA.

I once read the following rule, which I think worth quoting to you: "Talk to every girl with the respect due to your mother, to every elderly woman with the comradeship due to a sister, to every married woman with the kindly but Platonic interest due to your best friend's wife. Converse with the same courtesy with the low bred woman as with a high bred one. "

The Right way to Refer to One's Husband
My husband and I disagree in regard to the name by which I should refer to him. Please give me your opinion. MRS. P.

Although one frequently hears a woman speak of her husband as "Mr. —" it is as incorrect, unless she be talking to servants, tradesmen or, possibly, to children, as though she should refer to her sister as "Miss —. " When a man's wife is speaking of her husband she should either use his Christian name or should refer to him as "My husband. "

What the Bride Calls Her Parents in Law
How should I address my parents in law? I have recently been married. ELSA.

You should call your husband's parents Mr. and Mrs. A until they ask you to do otherwise. The mother will doubtless suggest what will be most pleasing to them.

The Wedding Present is Sent to the Bride
The bridegroom is a great friend of mine, while the bride is a total stranger. To which should I send the wedding present? RICHARD.

All wedding presents, whether given by friends of the bridegrooin or bride, should be sent to the latter. If, being an intimate friend of the bridegroom, you wish to send something especially appropriate to him, you may choose some gift that he will be apt to use personally, such as an inkstand, of a type more adapted to a man's than to a woman's use, or any other article which may be suggestive of this idea.

The Best Man May be Married or Single
Will you please tell me if the best man at a wedding is ever a married man? QUESTIONER.

The old fashioned idea was that the best man must be unmarried, but nowadays the bridegroom asks his most intimate friend to fill this position, whether he be married or single.

A Point in Pouring Tea
When serving tea should one let the drop that remains on the spout of the cream pitcher fall to the table or catch it, and with what? K. K.

Catch it with a teaspoon or a napkin.

The Man Chooses the Time for Calling
When a girl asks a man to come to see her is it right for her to set the date for his first call? ADELE

No, she should leave that to the man, although she may tell him in a general way when she is apt to be at home.

Entering and Leaving a Public Dining Room
Please explain the proper way for a man and woman to enter and leave a public dining-room. QUESTIONER.

As they reach the door of the dining room the head waiter meets them and conducts them to the table they are to occupy. The woman follows the waiter, her escort behind her. On leaving the dining-room the woman also precedes her companion.

Know All Your Daughter's Friends
When a gentleman calls to take my daughter out for the evening should I be in the room and be introduced to him if I do not know him? ANXIOUS MOTHER.

You should indeed make it a point to know all your daughter's friends, and should not permit her to go out in the evening under any man's escort until after be has called at your house and been presented to you or to your husband.

Visiting Cards for Husband and Wife
Are visiting cards bearing the names of both husband and wife in good taste? MRS. H.

These are considered a little old fashioned, but they are still used frequently.

A Man and Wife Registering at a Hotel
How should a man and his wife register at a hotel? BRIDEGROOM.

The husband should register for both, as Mr. and Mrs. John Smith. It is not considered good form for a man to sign his own name, adding "and wife," as is sometimes done.

Who Should End Telephone Conversations
If Mrs. Smith calls up Mrs. Brown on the telephone which should be the one to say "Good by" to end the conversation? F. M.

Mrs. Smith, for since it was she who started the conversation she should be the one to give the signal for it to end. Mrs. Smith's object in wishing to speak to Mrs. Brown might be frustrated by an end being put to the conversation before she had really finished what she had to say.

Waiting Until All are Served
Should a guest begin eating as soon as she is served, or should she wait until everybody else is helped? VISITOR.

If a great many are present she usually waits for those near her to be served, but if there are only a few at table it is in better taste not to begin eating until the course has been passed to all.

When the Butler Ushers in a Guest
Should the butler precede or follow a caller when ushering her into the drawing room?
MRS. H. W.

The butler should lead the way to the drawing-room. On reaching it he should step aside and allow the caller to pass him while he holds the portieĠre or door of the room open.

A Bridegroom's Share of Wedding Expenses
Please tell me what part of the expense of a wedding is assumed by the bridegroom.
BRIDEGROOM.

The bridegroom should supply the bouquets for the bride and bridesmaids. He gives the gloves and ties to his best man and ushers, as well as some souvenir to each. Should they require carriages to take them to and from the church the bridegroom supplies these, as well as the one which he and the bride will use for the station after the wedding. The bride groom also pays the minister's fee, and if the ceremony takes place at the bride's home he should put a carriage at the minister's disposal.

If Asked to Escort the Chaperon to Dinner
Is it a compliment or the reverse to be asked to take the chaperon in to dinner?
WALTER.

It is neither, unless the hostess is acting as chaperon. In this case it is a compliment to be chosen as her escort, although if there is a great difference in years "the honor is (sometimes) great, but the pleasure small. "

Who Fixes the Date for a Man's Call?
If a man goes to see a girl rather often who is the one to appoint the date for his next call? ELSIE.

The suggestion should come from the man rather than from the girl. He may ask his hostess to appoint a time when he will be apt to find her at home, or he may ask to be allowed to call on a certain date.

When a Hostess May Wear Gloves
When is it the proper thing for a hostess to wear gloves? FANNIE M.

When entertaining in a large hall or restaurant the hostess should wear gloves, but good taste forbids her wearing them at home unless giving a large formal dance.

How Soon to Call After an Invitation
How soon should a man call after receiving the invitation? IGNORAMUS.

He should make an effort to call within a week or two, thus giving the impression to his hostess that her invitation is appreciated.

When a Party Call May be Omitted
If I receive an invitation to a reception from a friend to whom I owe a party call am I freed from the obligation of a call by my attendance at her reception? FLORENCE H.

If the reception is in the nature of an entertainment, such as it would be if given to introduce a young girl into society, or for a bride, your hostess's invitation puts you under still greater obligations to her. Should the invitation be for a "day at home," however, your call, if made on this occasion, will make a second one unnecessary.

The Correct Way to Eat Asparagus
What is considered the proper way to eat asparagus ? JOHN DOE.

The tips of the asparagus should first be eaten after having been cut off with the fork. One may then eat the remaining part, holding each stalk either in the fingers or in the tines of the fork. In America the fork is more often used than the fingers for this purpose.

How the Bridegroom's Hat Reaches Him
Since the bridegroom enters the church by the vestry door and leaves with the bride by the door at the end of the aisle how does he get his hat, which he, of course, left in the vestry? BRIDEGROOM.

It is one of the best man's duties to go to the vestry room, to get the bridegroom's hat and to give it to him at the church door. He makes his way down a side aisle and is not likely to be observed.

How to Decline Wine at Table
Please tell me the approved way of refusing wine at table. HENRY.

If a friend offers it say simply, "Not any, thank you. " If a waiter serves it make a slight gesture of refusal with your right hand. If your glass happens to be filled when your attention is drawn elsewhere say nothing about it but leave it untasted.

Seating Guests at a Wedding Breakfast
Please tell me how I should seat the guests at my daughter's wedding breakfast.
MOTHER.

The bride and bridegroom should sit together, the maid of honor on the bridegroom's left, the best man at the right of the bride. The bridegroom's mother should sit on the host's right, and you—being the hostess—should be seated between the minister who has performed the ceremony and the bridegroom's father. The positions which the other guests occupy are of little importance except that, of course, men and women should sit alternately about the table, and husband and wife should not be seated next to each other.

Give Your Best Courtesy to Home Folks
Is it not overexacting to expect a fellow to raise his hat to the members of his own family when meeting them or leaving them in the street? A Boy.

I must answer your question by putting one to you: Is there any reason for a boy's being less courteous to his mother, his sisters—to those, in fact, to whom he is dearest and to whom be owes the most—than to the merest acquaintance that be may have chanced to meet for the first time the previous evening? Courtesy, like charity, I think, should begin at home.

The Seat of Honor in an Automobile
What is considered the seat of honor in an automobile? PHILIP.

If the host is driving the car the seat of honor is next to him, but if a chauffeur is driving a seat in the tonneau is regarded as the more desirable.

Which Commences a Correspondence?
When a man and girl have agreed to correspond which should be the first to write?
MILDRED.

The man should take the initiative in this as in most matters between men and women.

Visiting at the Home of a Fiancé
Is there any objection to my accepting an invitation to stay over Sunday at the home of my fiancé? MARY.

There can be no possible criticism provided you are invited by either his mother or sister. You should not make this visit on his invitation alone.

Assistance in Mounting a Horse
Will you tell me how a girl should mount her horse, and the proper way for me to assist her? JOE.

The girl stands at the horse's side, holding the reins in her right hand and the pommel of the saddle in her left. You should interlace the fingers of both hands, thus forming a support for her left foot, which, on your stooping, she will place in your palms. As you rise to an upright position she straightens her knee and springs into the saddle. You should then hold her stirrup for her and adjust her skirt if necessary. If the girl rides cross saddle she may be mounted in the same way, only in this case, as she springs, she throws her right leg over the horse's back.

Shall a Man and Girl Walk Arm in Arm?
Is it old fashioned for a man and a girl to walk in the street arm in arm? HAYSEED.

Husband and wife frequently walk arm in arm in the evening and occasionally in the daytime, but a man does not offer his arm in the street, except to his wife, unless in an emergency, as, for instance, to prevent their being separated in a crowd. Even in such a case he would be apt to do so only in the evening.

Introducing Strangers to the Bridegroom
At a wedding reception where the guests are strangers to the bridegroom whose duty is it to introduce him? FUTURE BRIDE.

As the bride greets her friends she should turn and present her husband to them if they have not already met.

Safety Before Politeness
When a man takes a girl sleigh riding should he leave the horse to help her in and out of the sleigh? HENRY.

This would be putting politeness before personal safety, and it is quite unnecessary. If there is no one else to hold the reins he should allow the girl to get in and out of the sleigh unaided, except as he may be able to help her from his driver's seat.

"Tin Wedding" Reception
Kindly tell me how to celebrate the tenth anniversary of our marriage. LOYAL.

The tenth anniversary is called the "tin wedding," for which a reception is the form of celebration usually chosen in winter, and a lawn party in summer—differing from such festivities only in that the host receives the guests with his wife. New tinware will be almost as effective as silver on the refreshment table. Circular cake tins filled with flowers may wreath certain dishes. The cards of invitation may be of tin, or of pasteboard smoothly encased in tinfoil— a blunt pencil to be used in writing upon them. The bride generally wears her wedding dress—now grown so old in style as to create interest— and carries her bouquet in a tin funnel. If the entertainment is in the evening and there is dancing, all present may join in a Virginia Reel, the bride and bridegroom leading off, and so make a merry climax.

Calling Without Being Invited
May I call upon a young woman whom I greatly admire, although she has not given me the pernission? Would she be flattered at my eagerness, even to the setting aside of conventions, or would she think me impertinent? A. L. G.

I think that you would risk her just displeasure and frustrate your object of finding favor with her.

The proper way is for you to request some friend known to you both to ask the young woman's permission to bring you to call upon her, and, having received it, ask that a time be appointed when she will be at home.

Riding Customs Among Women
Is it considered good form for women to ride astride? Does the man ride on the right or left of the woman? APPRECIATIVE READER.

The fashion is growing in popularity for women to ride astride. It is customary for the man to ride at the woman's right, since otherwise, if she is using a side saddle, his spur might catch in her dress.

The Man Who Escorts a Woman to a Dance
When a gentleman asks a lady to accompany him to a dance how many dances should she give him during the evening, and what is expected of him in general? F. S. R.

They usually dance together when they enter the ballroom and perhaps two or three times during the evening. He should present other men to the young woman—those only for whom he is willing to be responsible—and should try to insure her having a pleasant time.

Where a Hostess Sits in Her Own Carriage
Is there any rule of social usage governing the seat which a hostess should occupy in her own carriage? ANNE.

Not in this country. I know that in Europe the hostess usually sits at the right of her guest. Possibly this is so that the latter may have an open view ahead, unobstructed by the person of the coachman.

When a Husband Gives a Dinner to Men
My husband wishes to give a dinner to his man friends. Should the invitation be sent in my name, as they would be were I to be present? M. H. D.

No; your husband should give these invitations in his name alone, since the wives of his guests are not to be included.

A German and a Cotillion are the Same
What is the difference between a german and a Cotillion ? H. H.

There is no difference. These are terms used interchangeably, but the preference is given to the latter.

Any Married Woman May Act as Chaperon
My younger sister has just married. Is she, therefore, in a position to chaperon my friends who are her seniors? BROTHER JlM.

Yes; custom sanctions a married woman acting as chaperon under all circumstances.

Never Speak to a Man You Have Not Met
If a girl meets a man very often on her way to business is there any harm in showing that she recognizes him? PATTY.

The type of girl who does this sort of thing is in a class to which no girl with self respect can afford to belong. We have real sympathy for the working-girl whose position may expose her to much that is disagreeable in her contact with men; but what can be expected for the girl who voluntarily invites familiarities?

To Reply to an invitation Sent by Hand
If a dinner invitation is left by band should the answer be sent in the same way?
MARIE H.

Yes; one is prompted by courtesy to do this, as it is the quickest way of letting a friend know whether her invitation is accepted or declined.

How to Change the Current of Conversation
At a dinner-party what can the hostess do to prevent the same couples being obliged to talk together during the entire meal? MRS. B.

The hostess naturally starts talking with the man who has taken her in to dinner, but when the meal is about half over she seizes the first opportunity that offers to draw the man on her other side into conversation. In so doing she has to turn slightly away from her escort; he will then turn his attention to the guest on his other side, thus giving the suggestion to the others present to do the same.

When Two Girls Share One Escort
When a man is acting as escort to two girls in a street car should he not sit between them? ESCORT.

No; the girls should sit side by side; he should sit beside one or the other of them.

When a Man is Introduced
How should a man acknowledge an introduction to another man, and how an introduction to a girl? A MAN.

Under most circumstances a man rises when being introduced. If presented to a man be should offer his hand; if to a woman he should allow her to take the initiative.

Finger Bowls
Kindly tell me if finger bowls are provided when buffet refreshments are served.
HOSTESS.

No, they are used only at table.

Don't Take a Girl's Arm
Am I not right in saying that a man should take a girl's arm when escorting her home from an evening party? BILLY.

A man should never take a girl's arm. If they are crossing a slippery place or if for any other reason, she should need his assistance he may put his hand under her forearm to give her the consciousness of his support.

When Taking Two Ladies to the Theatre
I am to accompany my mother and a young girl friend to the theatre. Should I not sit between them? HAROLD.

No, you should sit nearest the aisle; the young girl should occupy the seat between your mother and you.

May a Girl Visit Her Fiancé's Home?
Is it proper for me to allow my daughter to visit at the home of her fiancé? A MOTHER.

Most assuredly, if the invitation be given by the young man's mother, or by some female member of his family with whom he may be living. It must be understood, of course, that the one who gives the invitation will chaperon your daughter during her visit.

Requesting Leave to Call on a Girl Friend
I have been driving a girl about a great deal in my touring car; she has never asked me to call. Should I not, therefore, discontinue my invitations? CLAUD.

Your friend may possibly be inexperienced, or ignorant of its being the girl's prerogative to give the invitation. Many have asked me if a girl may invite a man to call on her or whether she should wait until he asks her permission. Under the circumstances, as you are on such good terms, it would be permissible for you to say: "I have been waiting a long time for an invitation to call upon you.

When Asked to Dance
If a man asks a girl for some dance that is already taken may she tell him which of her dances are not engaged? ETHEL.

She may say, "I think that dance is engaged," then, as she consults her card, her would be partner will be quite sure to ask her which of her dances she can give him.

To Answer a Wedding Reception Invitation
How should one accept, or decline, an invitation to a wedding reception? FANNIE.

If an answer is requested a note should be written in the third person; otherwise, it is sufficient to leave your card if you attend the reception; or to mail it to the bride's parents—your host and hostess— if you cannot be present.

WEDDING ETIQUETTE

Who Decides on Place and Clergyman?
Is it not the prerogative of the bride to have the choice of where and by whom the marriage ceremony shall be performed? MARGRET.

Yes, it is thought to be somewhat inconsistent with a bride's dignity for the ceremony to take place in a church other than the one attended habitually by her and her family, or for her to be married at the house of another if she has a home of her own except for very cogent reasons. It is usual, however, to associate any special clerical friend or relative of the bridegroom with the bride's rector or pastor in the rendering of the marriage service, if it be his wish. The part of the ceremony devoted to the "plighting of the troth" is assigned to the elder of the clergymen, or to the one to whom it is desired to show most honor.

Bride's Mother Bemoves Hat at the Beception
Should the mother of the bride remove her hat, which she has worn at the church ceremony, upon her return to the house where the reception is to take place? (MRS. ) M. L. P.

Yes, she should not wear a hat when welcoming guests in her own house, though she must do so necessarily when in a church.

Duty of the Ushers at a House Wedding
Is it customary to have ushers at home weddings? EDITH L.

At large house weddings there are often ushers in order to show the guests where to bestow themselves and to present them to the bride after the ceremony. They are the especial "squires" of the bridesmaids and should conduct them to the dining room, but may not give them such exclusive devotion as to be oblivious of the claim of other guests, to whom, with the bridesmaids, they are the accredited representatives of their hosts.

What the Bride's Father Does
I am the father of a young woman who is to be married very shortly. I should like to know just how I ought to comport myself when accompanying her to the church and through the ceremony and reception. I. H. G.

The bride's father drives to church with his daughter alone, and shows tactful consideration in treating her in a way calculated to calm and encourage her, being careful to avoid anything that may stir her emotion. She should feel his strength a relianee. Nervousness is very contagious. Make the occasion as little trying as possible to her by maintaning a tranquil dignity and cheerful poise. Arrived at the church door, leave to others all direction and calmly take your place at your daughter's side, giving her moral support as well as that of your arm as you follow the procession with her up the aisle. Near the chancel she leaves your arm to join the bridegroom waiting for her. You step to her left side, a few paces in the rear of the bridesmaids. When the clergyman asks, "Who giveth this woman? " you step forward and place your daughter's hand in that of the bridegroom or in that of the clergyman, as you please, after which you retire to the front pew at the left of the church. After the ceremony you drive home with your wife and stand with her to receive the guests for a time, and then use your position as host to make yourself generally useful and agreeable. At a wedding breakfast you should escort the bridegroom's mother to the table.

The Bride Wears Either Veil or Hat at Church
If I do not wear a veil must I wear a hat at my wedding? FLORENCE

Yes, if the wedding takes place in a church. At a house wedding there is no rule to be observed.

Rice Throwing is Going Out of Fashion
Is not the custom of throwing rice after the bridal pair going out of fashion? MARY.

Yes, the best bred people recognize that the rice-throwing has been so abused and has been productive of such injurious results that many now adopt the fashion of pelting the departing couple with flowers—which the decorations of the room usually furnish in plenty—or with confetti. While the bridal couple are changing their wedding attire for traveling dress, the company, provided with scissors, supply themselves with ammunition. The rice is a punishment when forcibly thrown, and the victims must smilingly endure what they cannot resent from their friendly enemies.

Supper for the Rehearsing Bridal Party
Is it necessary to furnish refreshments to the bridal party when they are convened for a rehearsal of the grouping and procession before the wedding? MOTHER OF BRIDE.

Some light refreshments at the bride's house are usually offered, but nothing elaborate is expected. Indeed there are so many time consuming obligations before a wedding that the lack of punctilio in hospitality is excusable.

Attending Weddings by Those in Mourning
Is it permissible to attend a wedding if one is wearing deep mourning? ELLA G. M.

A marriage being a religious rite and not a social function, it is perfectly correct for one in mourning to attend the ceremony, but not the reception or breakfast that may follow it. As a wedding is, or is always supposed to be, a joyful occasion, the presence of one in deep mourning is incongruous, therefore that person shows consideration in taking a seat in an inconspicuous part of the church or room.

About Sending Wedding Presents
What is the rule about sending wedding presents? (MRS. ) B. L. B.

It is by no means obligatory for all who are invited to a wedding to send gifts. A bride with any feeling of delicacy would deprecate imposing such a tax. Upon those who are merely invited to be present at the church ceremony there rests no obligation whatever.

The Engagement Ring During the Ceremony
What does the bride do with her engagement ring when the wedding ring is given—if she does not wish to remove the latter when placed by the bridegroom during the ceremony? MAY.

She removes her engagement ring to the right hand to make way for the wedding ring, when it is about to be given, if she has not already done so before coming to the church. The little ceremony of replacing it usually takes place in the privacy of the carriage, when the newly made husband and wife drive away from the church.

Bride and Bridegroom Entering a Church
Is it out of date for the bride and bridegroom to walk up the church aisle together? MARION H.

Yes. Nowadays the bride and bridegroom do not meet until she reaches the chancel steps, where he should stand with his best man awaiting her.

The Bride Sets the Wedding Day
Please tell us if the bride does not always "name the day." ADELAIDE AND ARTHUR.

When the bridegroom elect feels justified in assuming the responsibilities of married life he urges his betrothed to appoint the date for the marriage. That is always the bride's privilege, which, after consultation with her mother, she submits to the young man's approval. As the consent of the father must be secured when a man desires to marry his daughter, so etiquette requires that he ask the approval of the mother of his fiancée of the time set for the wedding.

The Bridesmaids' Special Attentions
We girls are to be bridesmaids for a very dear friend. Are there any little kindnesses for the bride or her family that we can do other than the regular attentions? FOUR GIRLS.

It is a considerate and kindly custom after the wedding for the bridesmaids to agree among themselves that one or more of them shall drop in for a few moments to see the bride's mother each day during her daughter's absence. She is a woman and will want to "talk things over. " She is a mother and will want to hear her daughter praised and admired. Never will such consideration be more appreciated by mother and daughter. All the maiden attendants show in turn some hospitable attention to the bridal couple upon their return from their wedding journey.

The Position of Those Receiving
Will you please tell me the proper positions for those receiving at a wedding reception? MAID OF HONOR.

The bride and bridegroom stand side by side, the bride on the bridegroom's right between him and her maid of honor. If there are bridesmaids half the number stand on the right and half on the left of the young couple. The bride's parents, being host and hostess, usually remain near the door to be first in welcoming their guests, but occasionally they prefer another part of the room, thus giving first importance to the bridal party.

How Soon Should a Bride Return Calls?
How soon is a bride expected to return the calls made upon her? IGNORANCE.

She should aim to return these calls within two or three weeks, but as this is sometimes almost impossible on account of the number she must make, allowances are usually made for a bride if she is not quite as punctilious as she should be.

To Announce the Bride's Home
When sending out wedding invitations and announcements what is the proper manner of indicating the future address of the bride and bridegroom? IGNORAMUS.

With the invitations and announcements it is customary to inclose engraved cards worded as follows:

Mr. and Mrs. John Black will be at home after May the first at 22 Brook Street

Leaving Cards on Wedding Gifts
If a bride's presents are on exhibition at her wedding reception should the cards of the donors be shown with them? PATTY.

It is thought nowadays to be in better taste to remove these cards, as the only purpose in leaving them tied to the presents was to gratify idle curiosity.

Wearing a Hat at a House Wedding
Is it customary for bridesmaids to wear hats at a house wedding? GLADYS.

Hats are usually worn by bridesmaids at both house and church weddings, although it is permissible to dispense with them in the former case.

Gifts Between Employer and Employee
Would it be considered proper for me to give my employer a wedding present! I am a stenographer. MARGARET.

No. As your dealings with him are of a business nature it is in better taste not to introduce the social element.

The Usual Wedding Fee
What is the usual fee given to a clergyman for perfonning a wedding ceremony? BRIDEGROOM TO BE.

This amount may vary between ten and one hundred dollars, according to the size of the bridegroom's pocketbook. Should the clergyman be a relative or an intimate friend of either the bride or bridegroom a present of some kind may take the place of a check.

The Ushers' Duties at a Church Wedding
Please give detailed directions for the conduct of ushers who are to serve at a church wedding. Many desire the information. SIX MEN.

Upon accepting an invitation to be an usher a man should call promptly upon the bride and her mother. He selects fitting gift for the former, or joins with others of the ushers to send a finer gift than he would feel warranted in giving alone. He should attend the rehearsals of the wedding forms and give his serious attention to learning the part assigned him. On the eve of the wedding day the ushers should call at the bride's residence for final orders, and should be at the church half an hour before the time of the ceremony. Two or more ushers station themselves at the entrance of each aisle, and, as the guests arrive, offer their right arms to the ladies and seat them. If several arrive together the usher offers his arm to the one who appears to be their senior, asking the rest to follow, and assigns places as best he can. Except in the middle aisle, the rule of "first come, first served" is observed. The guests are asked whether they are friends of the bride or of the bridegroorn and are seated, the former on the left, the latter on the right of the church. The ushers of the middle aisle ask the names of the guests unknown to them, and upon reference to lists provided for their guidance conduct them to places reserved for them. Upon the arrival of the bridal party the head usher sends to notify the bridegroom, clergyman and organist of the fact, and orders the inner vestibule door of the church closed. Two other ushers stretch white ribbons all the length of the middle aisle as they pass down to meet the bride. When all are ready the door is thrown open, and the ushers, walking two by two, precede the bridal party up the aisle, separating at the chancel steps to permit the bridesmaids to pass between them. At the chancel they station themselves behind the bridesmaids or between them. After the ceremony they follow the bridesmaids in pairs down the aisle, see them into their carriages, and then hasten to the bride's residence to offer their congratulations.

A Widow's Bridal Dress
Should the bridal dress worn by a widow differ from that worn by a girl? WIDOW.

Yes. Instead of the usual veil and white gown a widow when she remarries should wear a hat and a gown of some color. Lavender and pale gray are shades often chosen.

When There Are No Bridesmaids
When a bride has no attendants to whom may she hand her bouquet and glove when the ring is to be Given? DELIA.

To her father, who remains at her side a step or two in the rear after he has given her away, instead of returning as usual to the pew occupied by his family.

Never Use Printed Wedding Invitations
I should like to spare all the expense possible at my wedding. May the invitations be printed instead of engraved? MOLLIE.

Where economy has to be studied and the wedding is to be a small one there is no reason why the invitations may not be written—in the name of the bride's mother. They should never be printed, if good taste may be considered. The form of expression in the notes varies according to the degree of intimacy with the person addressed. The more formal ones may follow the usual wording of the engraved invitations—the parents of the bride "requesting the pleasure or honor of the guest's presence," etc. , using the paper of standard quality known to stationers for this purpose.

Pretty Decorations for a Home Wedding
We are soon to have a home wedding and I am much puzzled about decorating the rooms for the occasion, as we have not much to spend, but want everything nice. POLLY.

Flowers in bowls and vases, growing plants at the windows and clustered about where the bridal pair are to stand, give more pleasing effect, because natural, than ambitious attempts at elaboration. The days of banked mantels and flowers tortured into wedding bells and horseshoes have passed away. Use plenty of foliage. Potted plants in bloom may be hired of the florist, and with a few palms make a pretty showing in a bay window or massed at the place reserved for the ceremony. Those unable to indulge in costly effects may be reassured that the bright toilettes are in themselves decorative at a wedding, and the guests are so absorbed by the bridal party and by each other that, unless the floral arrangements are such as to attract admiring notice, their absence would scarcely be remarked.

The Time to Send a Wedding Present
When is the proper time to send a wedding gift? (MRS. ) L. J.

The receipt of the invitations is the signal for the general offering of wedding gifts, but those who are on terms of friendship with either of the families interested may send them at any time within a month or so of the day set for the marriage. The early gifts are usually the more enjoyed, before prodigality dulls appreciation. Formal acquaintances should wait for the invitation before sending gifts, lest it be regarded as imposing an unwelcome obligation or as a bid for a card.

White for the Bride in Mourning
Is it consistent with deep mourning to wear a white wedding gown and a veil? MARIAN L.

When a marriage takes place after the saddest bereavement, a simple white gown, with a veil, is not inappropriate. Mouming dress is resumed after the wedding—although it is customary to lighten it after that event.

The Position of the Flower Girls
Where do the flower girls walk in the procession and where do they stand? JESSICA.

If they follow the old and pretty custom of scattering flowers in the bride's pathway from baskets carried on their left arms they immediately precede her. If they merely walk in the procession their place is between the ushers and the bridesmaids. At the chancel the flower girls stand in front of the bridesmaids or where they may best be seen.

Unusual Plans for the Bridal Procession
Is there any variation of the stereotyped bridal procession that may be in good taste and yet introduce a little novelty? DOROTHEA.

Occasionally, when there are many bridesmaids, they walk up the side aisles in pairs or singly, and, meeting at the chancel steps, join ranks and go down two by two to meet the bride, half way down the middle aisle. There the couples divide, standing at each side, while the bride and her father pass between them. The bridesmaids then form again and follow them. The ushers meantime, having preceded the bridesmaids up the side aisles, stand waiting at the foot of the chancel steps, and joining the procession after it has passed between them, bring up the rear. Or, the bridesmaids may enter the church from the vestry, and, going to the main door, meet the bride, turn and escort her to the place where the bridegroom awaits her.

The Lucky Days for the Wedding
Is there not an old saw about the day to be chosen for a wedding? LAURA L.

"Monday for wealth, Tuesday for health,
Wednesday best day of all.
Thursday for losses, Friday for crosses,
And Saturday—no luck at all. "

In Norway and Sweden, Thursday (Thor's day) is looked upon as a pagan day, unfit for a Christian ceremony.

The Loveliest Bouquet for the Bride
What do you consider the most beautiful bouquet for a bride? BRIDEGROOM ELECT.

Bride roses and white orchids are exquisite with a white satin gown and lace veil, but lilies of the valley, hot house daisies, carnations, sweet peas or white lilacs are prettiest with a tulle veil. The shower bouquet has no rival. Narrow white satin ribbons of graduated lengths and loops are deftly entwined in the bouquet, upon which flowers are pinned at intervals of a few inches. These, tumbling in a shower from the bouquet, cover all the front of the bride's gown nearly to her feet.

The Bride and Her Mother Instruct the Ushers
To whom should the ushers look for direction for their part in a church wedding? A. R. C.

The ushers receive all directions from the bride and her mother.

Gifts at a Widow's Marriage
At the marriage of a widow is it customary to send presents? ALICE.

It is not considered quite so binding an obligation to send gifts to a widow bride as to a maiden, but the families and near friends of the contracting parties do not make any such distinction.

Not Necessary to Invite the Minister's wife
Our wedding is to be very small. Should we invite the minister's wife? BRIDE.

The minister is asked to be present at your wedding in his official capacity—not as a guest. It is not necessary, therefore, to invite his wife unless you especially wish to do so.

The Mother and Her Son's Fiancée
My son has just told me of his engagement to a girl whom I have never met. What is expected of me on this occasion? MOTHER.

If possible you should call on the young girl and also on her mother. If you son's fiancée should live at a distance you should write her a letter of welcome as a future member of your family and express your best wishes for her happiness. A little later, as you are the one to take the initiative, you may ask her to dine or to visit you.

Invitations to a Quiet Wedding
Is there any substitute for the usual engraved wedding invitation when only relatives and a few intimate friends are to be asked? H. DE W.

Under these circumstances an informal note written in the name of the bride's mother may take the place of a formal invitation.

Acknowledging a Gift From a Married Couple
When a wedding present is sent me by a married couple is it necessary to write a note of thanks to both? H. DE. W.

No, your note should be written to the wife, and in it you should ask that your appreciation be conveyed to her husband.

The Place to Wear the Wedding Ring
Should the wedding ring be worn above the engagement ring or below it? PHYLLIS.

When the bridegroom puts the wedding ring on the bride's finger her finger should be bare. The engagement ring is resumed later and worn above the wedding ring.

FLORENCE BURTON KINGSLAND.

From: The American Girl in Society: The Way to Social Success, Showers for the Bride, Wedding Etiquette
Gathered by Carleton B. Case
1916